FUNNY FRIDAY

A Sign of the Times

A little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual,

"And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped:

"Didn't you get my E-mail?"

Even if it means to be still!

I recently received an email from Tracy that uncorked something deep inside of me.

As I’ve shared below in “From August to February” this season in life has been extraordinarily intense. I feel like I’ve been all the way from glory to a deep dark pit where the oxygen is limited. Writing has always been so cathartic, and yet I have put the proverbial pen down.

I have been grieving a loss and feeling guilty for grieving. What juxtaposition!

You see the Lord gave me a clear promise many years ago. I felt His call on my heart for ministry. It’s a fierce and unrelenting call. It took me many years to even let such a thing slip from my mouth as I felt it would be laughable, so I left it my secret and served the church with vigor passion. You see I’m good at “doing”!
Eventually I met with my pastor and shared my heart; it took another five years just to have the nerve to announce it publicly.

“Why me, I am from the wrong side of the track with NO denominational couth? In fact I have no couth whatsoever. I laugh at crass jokes; I love leopard print and red lipstick, I’m loud and flashy. I audibly told the Lord, “Lord I will give up my sparkles and color for You”! He must have had a big smile on His face. Not because that is what He expected, but because of my vision of what it took to follow Him. A suit, flat shoes, bottle rim glasses, with large theologically savvy words fluidly spilling from a mouth, with no hint of red.

I see now He wasn’t calling me to change me, He was calling me to be who He made me to be while allowing Him to have the reigns in my life. He wanted to percolate my life with His healing, His Glory, His Spirit and His grace.

I “signed the dotted line” into full time ministry and as the pen left the paper, life turned upside down. Our church family came under a major attack. The battle lines were drawn and it was immediately apparent that I needed sufficient “oil in my lamp of readiness”! I was determined to stand and fight with everything I had. This was no little tug of war such as …”The music is too loud, or can we sing hymns” no, this was a full on affront to the Bride of Christ that took us to the gates of hell. It was violent quake of evil where the sulfur overtook our nostrils and the flames licked the hem or our garments!

When God is about to reposition your life Know that the devil will begin to attack!

As it turned out, it took a good part of ‘me’. Purging oft does. After a year and a half of battle I was spent. I questioned God. “Is this what I signed up for? Are you serious God? You tell us that YOU cause all things to work together for good, to those who love You and are the called according to Your purpose”?
I did not quit. You see I’m good at “doing”! I buried the question in a corner of my heart and continued my classes and in ministry with even more gusto and made sure I had sufficient “oil in my lamp of readiness”.

Jump ahead a year or so and one class short of becoming an ordained minister. Our church is beginning to heal with a palpable heartbeat. Hope is returning. Within my grasp is the realization of what He put on my heart as a child.

Then…

A major shift/tragedy in our family… the “prize” slips out of my reach yet again.

You see I’m good at “doing”, sitting still, not so much. It became evident that He was calling me to be still and the tears that were held up behind a dam in my heart, threatening to flood my soul in anguish, was released.


This is where my friend Tracy comes in. A random email with Psalm46:10 Be still and know that I am God! I am King over all.”

FATHER YOU ARE KING OVER THE FLOOD I WILL BE STILL AND KNOW AND KNOW YOU ARE GOD!

It only takes a moment reflection of His suffering to realize what we experience on this earth is but a drop of His blood that He shed for us.

God is big enough to hold us together, to be intimately acquainted with all the circumstances of our lives, he does not always change the circumstances but He does have a purpose thru those circumstances.

I will to be prepared for Christ's banquet and watchful enough to have sufficient oil in my lamp of readiness and will remain vigilant for Jesus
Even if it means to be still!


Oh I have not forgotten the call; it beats wildly in my heart as it ever did, but my Jesus alone is the prize!

Still
Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Funny Friday

Bubba Had Shingles

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba:

Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had..Bubba said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'Bubba said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

1,000 Word Thursday

Strike up the band!

Psalm 149:3 (The Message)

Hallelujah! Sing to God a brand-new song, praise him in the company of all who love him. Let all Israel celebrate their Sovereign Creator, Zion's children exult in their King. Let them praise his name in dance; strike up the band and make great music! And why? Because God delights in his people, festoons plain folk with salvation garlands!

Tuesday's Quotes

I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways. ~ Lucille Ball~

Where would You like to meet?

First, I apologize for the lack of content lately. I've heard lately that blogging is dead, and you should just "Facebook or Twitter". Well, there is definitely some value to Twitter … I update it frequently and those updates sometimes go to my FB But the truth is – I’ve got some pretty substantial things to write about – I just haven’t had the chance. I want to share a simple, yet profound “word” that I got from God...in a bit, but first I must share how I got this Word.

Due to life's hectic crazy schedule, changes and shifts (see below blog "FROM AUGUST TO FEBRUARY) I've struggled to find my 'conversation' with Jesus. How do you meet with Jesus in a crowded world? I haven't lost Him but the intimate times we shared and the word pictures He would give me have dwindled significantly.

So I asked the Lord "where would you like to meet"? Almost immediately I sensed the need to get quiet, alone and still. Not something I excel at. I walked around my house with anticipation, almost as if I would walk in a room and see a light from Heaven peering down on the perfect location. Didn't happen. So I decided to turn off my phone, turn off the computer and just lie across my comfy bed wrapped up in my cushiony Down comforter. Ahhh

I didn't speak or hum, I just repeatedly asked Jesus to meet with me. It didn't take long and my imagination went to a beautiful forest. The sun was setting and it was drizzling, off in the distance was small campfire blazing. I walked towards the warmth of the fire. As I walked I sensed the cares of the world pressing in on every side threatening to steal this time away. "Lord help me, I need this time with You!"
By the fire were three tree stumps and on one layed a pair of keys.
I was like "HUH....Yoo Hoo I'm here" Lol
I don't excel at patience either.
I just stood there, anxiously waiting....and waiting. I could sense myself becoming anxious and desperate in my Hunger to commune with Him, the Lover of my soul.

I picked up the keys and swirled them around from the key ring on one finger, just fidgeting looking to and fro.

I decided to just sit and wait. I held tightly to the keys as if they were somehow an answer to an equation. The breeze picked up and the flames danced in rhythm. I could feel His presence, His warmth and His acceptance of me, Oh how I need that. As I continued to hold those keys I sensed HIS ASSURANCE. Wow that is exactly what I needed at that moment.

Though I did not see Him I knew He was with me and He was reminding me not to be afraid. He was refreshing my memory that He was indeed alive. That He had met mans worst enemy and overcame it. With Him, not even death and Hades are unconquerable. HE HAS THE KEYS!!!!

I got it! I jumped up and danced around my room. Tripping a few times over random messiness on my floor but dancing nonetheless.

This was my profound Word!!!!!!!! I couldn't remember the verse and was too impatient to thumb through my Bible so I googled it people. Ha I googled "Keys to life and death" Yikes,

I had turned the computer off and I would have to wait a whole minute for it to come back to life.

http://tinyurl.com/n5pdsd

HE HAS THE KEYS AND ALL IS WELL!!!

So, if you’re up to the challenge … pull yourself away … close your door … calm your soul … and say “Jesus, where would you like to meet?” and simply write down the place that comes to mind in your imagination.

I want to fall deeper in love with You Lord!!

Happy Father's Day

Make a Smilebox greeting

1,000 WORD THURSDAY

Tuesday's Quotes

“If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.”
Jeff Foxworthy

Laughing with

Funny Friday

~ Love to Laugh

Read this story sometime back. It continues to circulate....and contues to make me give a hearty laugh. This one is called

"CHAPSTICK"

We had this great 10-year-old cat named Jack who justrecently died.
Jack was a great cat, and the kids would carry him aroundand sit on him and nothing ever bothered him.

He used to hang out and nap all day long on the mat in our bathroom.

We have three kids, and at the time of this story, they were 4 years old, 3 years old, and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loved Chapstick. LOVED it.


He kept asking to use my Chapstick and then would lose it. Finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my Chapstick and explained he could use it whenever he wanted to, but he needed to put it right back in the drawer after he finished.

That year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rusharound and try to get ready for church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys were fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I was trying to nurse my little one at the same time I was putting on my make-up.

Everything was amess, and everyone had long forgotten that this was awonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally had the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I was looking for Eli. I searched everywhere and I finally went into the bathroom. There was Eli.

He was applying my Chapstick very carefully to Jack's ... rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said, 'Chapped.'

Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right -- their littlebottoms do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn'tseem to mind. The only question to ask at that point waswhether it Was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat'sbehind or the hundredth!?!

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your Chapstick on the cat's butt.

Keep dancing

Yesterday my friend Tracy sent me an email “7 keys to starting a movement” http://www.ragamuffinsoul.com/


I love Carlos Whittaker’s passion and writings. Tracy turned me on to his blog sometime ago.
When I opened her email, clicked on the link, read the 7 keys and then watched the video… well as I told her, “the Holy Spirit jumped inside of me”. I watched that man dancing and all that came to mind was

THIS IS HOW LIFE SHOULD BE ALL THE TIME. Dude!!!

I love what Tracy said on her blog…”watching people be unleashed.”
Oh to embrace the power and miraculous works of the Holy Spirit. If we could discover who we are in Christ, be ourselves, use our God given gifts to set in motion the full potential available through God's Holy Spirit. ... "Unleash our Purpose”…Oh my we could set the world ablaze for Jesus! Amen


We decided to blog together on this one. I don’t mind “dancing” alone, but prefer to grab my Bff’s by the wrist and drag their behinds out with me. I am honored to be one of your “first dancers” Tracita.

Some of my words that came to my mind in relation to “MOVEMENT” were
· Alteration
· Stirring
· Shift
· Momentum
· Adventure!



Straight from Carlos' blog!

A few things I think we can learn from this video.
1. One man can start a movement.
2. A movement need not be started by the most skilled member of the movement.
3. When beginning your movement and you look around and no one else is joining the dance, just keep dancing.
4. When the one guy who joins your movement slowly fades away, keep going.
5. Before you know it, the people joining your movement won’t even know you started it.
6. When your movement takes a life of its own, just let go. There will be no stopping it.
7. The very people who are staring at you like your nuts as you movement alone, will be the very same people dancing the hardest in the end.

1,000 WORD THURSDAY

Guest Blog day

I have had this idea since my friend TRACY got me a blogging.
To have guests join in from time to time with their ideas, musings, inspirations or just plum funny stories.
My friend Laurie is an amazing writer and I am thrilled to share "THOUGHTS FROM LAURIE" and to "lock keyboards" in this blogosphere.

“I Am Ma’am, Hear Me Moan!”

Ok, so when did I pass over from ‘Miss’ to ‘Ma’am’?

I know it’s been going on for a while, but maybe I’m just feeling older today and more sensitive to the title! Maybe it happened the same day I looked down at my hand and was sure it was my mother’s hand! Or the day those funny little brown spots appeared on my arms. Oh sure, I tried to pass them off as ‘freckles’, but I’m pretty sure freckles don’t come in that size! Was it when those random, long black hairs started popping out in strange places – like the middle of the back of my thigh? Was it when I smiled and all the ‘smile wrinkles’ stayed long after the smile had dissipated? Or was it when I complained to my younger, beautiful female doctor about some of the ‘strange’ things that are happening to my body and she just patted me on the shoulder and prescribed antidepressants? (You just wait honey! Your day will come!

I really don’t know, but it has happened. And why, may I ask, does it always have to be some cute young thing that says it? “Are you finding everything alright, ma’am?” “Can I help you with your groceries, ma’am?” “May I push your wheelchair for you, ma’am?”

Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating just a bit, but when I hear ‘Ma’am’ I feel like I’ve gone from 45 to 105 in less than two seconds flat! I guess I should just enjoy the fact that someone is showing respect?

…naaaa! It just sounds old!

The problem is I DON’T FEEL OLD! I feel young and sexy and the same, if not better, than at other times in my life and for that I’m grateful.

When I hang out with my daughters I feel more like a sister than a mom! That is until I’ve picked out an item of clothing I think they would look cute in and they politely inform me “that would look good on you, mom”. That’s the universal phrase for “that’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen!!!”

Or my youngest daughter tells me she loves that flabby section of my upper arm – you know the section I’m talking about ladies – she loves the way it jiggles back and forth – it reminds her of grandma! Ahhh!!!

I guess there certainly could be worse things in life than this dilemma (though none are coming to mind at the moment.) Don’t get me wrong…I love being a mom and a wife, and having just a tiny bit more wisdom than I did 20 years ago. I love that my kids are more and more independent and I’m not lugging around diaper bags and car seats.

I love being married to a man who is my best friend and who I can just jump in the car with and go on a ‘date’! I love that I can impart advice to a younger wife & mom because I’ve been there and done that – not always well, but I have done it and maybe they can learn from some of my successes as well as my mistakes? No, I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world!

I guess it is just all part of the circle of life (Lion King music playing softly in the background ), but I don’t have to go quietly, right? Maybe this ma’am thing isn’t so bad. Maybe I will wear it like a badge and take what I have learned and encourage other women who will someday cross over into the world of ‘ma’am’hood.

I am Ma’am hear me roar!

LAURIE

Tuesday's Quotes

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether this happens at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps on learning not only remains young, but becomes constantly more valuable regardless of physical capacity.

~Harvey Ullman~

From August to February

Life is a process of beginnings and endings. In both life and nature, there are times when things move slowly and don't seem to change very much. Then, suddenly, things change quickly. Moving from August to September, the weather changes gradually at first, and then it seems that suddenly summer is over. It is the same in our lives; transitions are as natural as the changing seasons.

Life transitions are challenging because they force us to let go of the familiar and face the future with a feeling of vulnerability.

That is where we are at right now. Been here before but now……well we have moved from August to February in a blink of an eye. March 2009 completely changed the map of our lives. My beautiful, vibrant and funny mother in law had a stroke. God’s hand was upon her, her deficits are not visible, but insidious they lay in her memory and thought processes. She has devotedly taken care of her husband, my father in law over the last few years who is ravaged by Parkinson’s.

Any significant loss makes most people feel fearful and anxious. My future is filled with questions, and I’m afraid. I am anxious and my life is disrupted. Behind is the familiar, present… the very unfamiliar. There is an awareness of feeling completely unprepared, unqualified, shocked, sad, and confused. I want to learn to identify and express my feelings. It's normal for me to try to push away feelings of fear and anxiety.

This transition however gives me…gives us, a chance to discover our family’s strengths and a chance to explore a new life with new adventures. We now are caring for our children and our parents. God has orchestrated in all His Majesty and omniscience an opportunity for us to serve and care for family in such a way I never thought possible.

The positive side I see right now is an opportunity to assess the direction our lives in the path we are taking. This is a chance to grow and learn. I pray this time of reflection will result in a sense of renewal, stability, and a new equilibrium.

I have a sense to rush through this transition, to get back to the norm. To get my in-laws moved in…to get back to the norm. But this is the norm now and I sense the Holy Spirit saying “Don't be in a rush”. I don’t excel at feeling insecure, anxious or vulnerable. Come Holy Spirit; come with Your quiet rustlings. Help me hear all that you are whispering to me... ”Be still and know that I am God!”

What does God promise his people?

He promises us relief from all troubles in the next world and relief from some troubles in this life. Faithful people throughout the centuries witness to dramatic deliverances from sickness, from financial woes, from all manner of troubles. Flesh-and-blood human beings have testified to our Father’s healing presence in times of troubles with a supernatural peace that passes all understanding.

Sometimes we aren't relieved by God. Sometimes we merely endure through faith. This isn't such a bad thing. We are never nearer to God than when we are troubled. In times of comfort and ease we forget Him. In the worst of times, we suddenly remember, "Ah, what if I asked God for help?"
Sometimes the answer is the help we pray for. Sometimes the answer is "Lean on me, and you will survive and thrive."

As I journal, and as I seek the Lord I am continually reminded of His promises. I hunger and thirst for His Word….for more of Him. Lord I hold Your hand ever so tightly through these changing seasons!

Psalm 73:25-26 Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

Psalm 119:50 Remember your promise to me, for it is my only hope. Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles.

Psalm 23:1-4 The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.
Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the strength of my salvation, and my stronghold. .

Psalm 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear, even if earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea.
Psalm 71:20 You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth.

Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.

Isaiah 41:10 "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand."

Isaiah 43:2 "When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

Matthew 10:29-31 "Not even a sparrow, worth less than a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows."

Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light."

2 Corinthians 4:8, 16-17
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit.
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever!

FUNNY FRIDAY

Love to laugh!

Everyonce in a while I run across a "dumb blonde" joke that gives me a little tickle. Being that I've been blonde many times in my life AND that I have many such moments under my belt, I feel qualified to approach a thing such as this! So from time to time I will have an honorary "Blonde" moment to share~

Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would notallow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' then he would tell me to take afew days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Bossmight think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What inthe name of good golly are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for acouple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, '..Andwhere do you think you're going?!'

(You're gonna love this....)

She said,

'I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark . '

1,000 WORD THURSDAY

REST

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.

Matthew 11:28-30 (Msg)