The beautiful people

This week I fight hard with dirt beneath my nails to find things to give thanks for.

As always thankful for my family

This was no pretty week!

The temptation; to not blog at all. To stuff down the ugliness because after all I'm a mature God fearing Christian woman. Don't we reach a point in our maturity where we no longer need to see such ugliness in our hearts?

This is the month of blessings and giving thanks for said blessings.

Not speaking it...well then it's somehow not committed to.

I feel as though I just crawled through the muck and mire to this keyboard. Somehow it seems an injustice for "Laughtershock" to be so heavy and downtrodden of late but it real, it's life.

Truly at wits end. Ready to cash it all in...whatever that means. I drive about with thoughts of a one way trip out of town. Could I do that to my children? So hemmed in and yet shocked that the thought even finds it's way into my entertainment.

As I wrestle my flesh I know that caregiver fatigue is mostly the culprit but I don't seem to be able to right myself. This boat sees itself about to capsize.

The frailest of people, needing love and support and care. Striving to deliver their happiness but it seems to merely evaporate in thin air as it leaves my hands.

Ahhh Lord give me strength.What more can I do?

This downcast, discouraged and drained of all strength soul.

My strength is in You and right here at the end of myself may I find You and Your rest.

Worry is my bedfellow and I rebuke it.

May this time next year Lord I look back and see a reflection of a beautiful person...woman. Refined and with Your reflection!

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern.

Beautiful people do not just happen.

--Elizabeth Kubler-Ross--

 

#217 Your promises
# 218 Faith
# 219 Family

Pursed lip breathing

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

TIRED:

Bahahahaha!!! Oh I can't even believe this is our word this week. A week that started with...

Hairdresser: "Robin what would you like me to do with the gray coming in at your temples"
Me: Wha?
Hairdresser: "Yes it's really taking off"
Me: Wha?
Hairdresser: "Most women want me to color it, what would you like me to do?"
Me: I need time, (Pursed lip breathing insues)  I can't make such a daunting decision in a 2 hours span.
Hairdresser: "Wha?"
Me: Color around it until I decide
Hairdresser: "Wha?"
Me: This news is making new gray come in I can feel it so color around it.......

And well the rest of it pretty much went round the mulberry bush and I will have to blog on it at some point but today it's about Tired.

GO:

Tired has had me in it's grip this week. Threatening the surrounding air, threatening peaceful thoughts, rest and peace.
Forgetting to breathe, the frenetic thoughts squeeze my head like a vise. Tears would be a fresh rain in this drought but they do not come.
I don't want to always complain and I want to capture and savor every moment but caring for a terminally ill parent is daunting in itself but adding in children and work, well "TIRED" almost defies my fingers from this keyboard.
My heart beats with love, and care for this tender frail being and other days I just pray Lord take him! He wants to be with You Lord. 
How does a person EVER come to grips with such a battlefield of thoughts and emotions?
I'll tell you were I have to start...EVERY TIME!

The place to start at the end of our road, is at the beginning of His!

• Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

• I will listen to what God the LORD says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants— but let them not turn to folly.

• Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

The peace that God gives you will guard your minds. The peace that God gives you will strengthen you. The peace that God gives will you will keep your heart tender The peace that God gives will gird you in your time of need.






 STOP