A Crazy Lady’s Guide to Black Friday

I've recently bumped into a new favorite. In fact she is new to me completely. I feel like yelling out...Gurl where have you been, all my life!? I must have been under a rock!

Her name is Margaret and I can tell I like her a lot. I think we could sit to coffee and chat for a couple of hours no problem. She is smart and witty and has a glorious gleam in her eyes that reflect humor and Jesus.

Somehow I bumped into her in the Twitter universe then found my way to her blog

Drop by Margaret Feinberg's place and sit a spell.

Typically Wednesday's at Laughtershock are about His word or impressions on my heart. My attempt at a short study of a scripture or idea. Something that has piqued my interest or moved me...and such :-)

As we approach Thanksgiving season, like every Thanksgiving, I feel quite inept. Not so much with the cooking and baking. It's the BLACK FRIDAY HOLE of no return I run from.
I've tried it and after several failed attempts I've determined I just don't have what it takes to be part of the gang.
I'm not a morning person, I hate crowds...especially in the morning, I don't like being stepped on in the morning, I don't like when people are grumpy...in the morning, I don't like buying socks 1/2 off...early in the morning. I have yet to see a deal yet that would have me pitch a tent on a cold, wet and dreary Oregon night just to get the ONE UP on those who are willing to pry their eyelids open at 4 am. YUCK!!! Besides all of that I've yet to hear a person stand up in church to share how Black Friday changed their life, healed the sick or led others to the Lord!!
Did I mention I'm not a morning person?

THEN

I bumped into Margaret's blog on the subject and now feel better about myself. I'm not alone and maybe there are even others out there that are like us.
I will pass the baton to her now and enjoy.........

Margaret’s Monday Musing: A Crazy Lady’s Guide to Black Friday

Black Friday is that glorious day after Thanksgiving which marks the first day of the holiday shopping season. In the past several years, the Friday has been the busiest day of the shopping year. Where did “Black Friday” come from? Philadelphians first began using the term before 1966 to refer to the thick mob of pedestrian and car traffic. Black Friday also refers to the black ink used in retail stores to show a profit.
Follow my guide to ensure you save the most money!

1. Scope out stores several days ahead of time. Create a to-scale model with building blocks and foam to ensure the best accuracy. How many steps are between the checkout and that screwdriver kit? Is it a 46 or 47-degree angle between the fuzzy snowman socks and the replica of your grandmother’s antique teapot? These are the questions you need to ask; every second wasted is an extra penny spent. Don’t be afraid to ask an employee for blueprints. As you case the joint in the days leading up to Friday, keep an eye out for any white-haired lady or Jr. Higher you see more than once. Chances are, they’re also scoping out the store.

2. Pour over every catalogue or newspaper ad. The Internet is your friend; it may hold a treasure cove of further discounts. Now is when you whip out that homemade raven-colored coupon holder. Take loads of time at the register to sort through all your un-alphabetical and un-categorized coupons. Especially if the man behind you picked up those fake diamond earrings you wanted for your wife. He’ll grow so frustrated he’ll throw them to the ground and stomp away. Now the earrings are finally yours and, justasec-wait, one second…I’ve got a coupon for those…

3. Brush up on your rollerblading skills. Traversing the mall will be faster on numerous wheels than on your own ground-bound feet. Besides, elbow and kneepads will allow you to shove a path through the crowds. If you want a competitive edge, pull the bottoms off of soccer cleats and attach them to your pads. Watch how smoothly a path now forms in front of you.

4. Bring camping equipment when you stand in line the night before. A tent will keep your toes toasty and your secrets safe as you review your plan. Bring hot chocolate with big fluffy marshmallows; the drifting aroma will cause slight madness in your competition, making it easier to out wit them. With any luck, the cold will freeze off your more daunting rivals.

5. Paint black streaks underneath your eyes for an air of ruthlessness. Also, refrain from showering a week in advance. The stench and grunge-look will strike fear in others’ hearts.
Be tough. Be callous. GO! GO! GO!
Have loads of fun.

I’m sleeping in.
(I'm with you Margaret =)

Thank you Margaret for an awesome post and letting me share!