Friday, October 14, 2011

Spitting out the gum


Staying true to the premise of unscripted writing for 5 minutes flat WITHOUT over thinking and staying true to the first thought popping into my sleepy brain..... I'm writing.
I must admit nothing noble, theological nor inspirational comes to mind as I sit sleepily with my little friend the pc and my nice hot coffee....

I catch my foot on everything. My pant legs, the edge of the rug, uneven floor, EVEN floor, transistions of any kind. In fact I don't just catch my foot I catch it and then fall. Yes that's right I'm a true clutz.
I'm one of those that should alwasy toss the gum out of my mouth before I start walking.
I scare people at work because I fall regularly. Funny thing is I work in a hospital and though they have gotten used to me,
there have been several times where they brought me wheelchairs, the crash cart (because I laid there for a little too long. I was just humiliated not hurt) etc...
The only thing ever bruised has been my ego but even that has toughened up.
I've fallen down the stairs, in the cafeteria in a patient room and walking to my car.
I'm ok really. I've had all kind of tests and the conclusion is...
My office had a shoe intervention. Can you imagine??? They closed the door and in a very supportive manner. sat around me, and discussed my rolling around on the floor. Discussed how they felt it was secondary to the heels.
Be still my beating heart.
That they love me but it was time to change. DR. DREWWWW
"It was time to graduate to a safer height of heel."
Is there a shoe AA? Shoes Anonymous?
I'm all of 5'2 and put the full in figure. I feel like when I wear heels I'm 5'7 and if I wear black AND heels, I'm a size 6 and 5'7.
I am woman hear me roar.
I'm at 4 minutes and will close with expressing my deep loss. Oh I'm still not warmed up to a flat but am looking at "fashionable alternatives"
I've gone from this..........
To this...

Tell me it isn't so.......



  1. Oh, you are hilarious! I love this.

    I love those flats, too.

  2. gurrrrl. I have broken ALL of my toes...multiple times.
    ain't it something?
    wish I knew how we could walk a bit more