Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Vanilla Rooibos

A friend questioned
(over nice steaming hot SB Vanilla Roobois tea),
at a local coffee house...

How can you tend to filling everyone’s cup if your pitcher is empty?

Oh I’ve heard such analogies before but I love how when your heart is ready, God speaks volumes to it through simple words in a coffee house.

I’ve always been a high achiever. It’s called survival where I come from
I could either swim with the tides of addiction, dysfunction, abuse, anger, loneliness and rejection or fight.

At first I did not realize that the God of the universe was my strength and the light to my path or that His protective hand was cupped around me.

But in the years to come it became very apparent and He became the very breath to which I breathe.

Fast forward to marriage, children, ministry and career.
  • The driving need to parent the way I was not parented,
  • To be the ideal wife and having no idea how,
  • Minister to the hurting. A ministering like I never experienced before Him who knows my inward parts.
  • Provide for my family as I had not been provided for. As well as succeed in a thriving career.

I realized as I poured out words on Monday’s blog… FOR THE DRY AND WEARY
that guilt has been whispering in my ear and I WAS LISTENING! Wanting to do do do, pursue pursue pursue, succeed, perform.........

Being still is not my strong suit.
Waiting is not my fortitude.

The last two years have been ALL about being still, waiting, patience and listening.
For much of it I have viewed as being a lesson. 
With “coffee house insight” my eyes opened, renewed to a new perspective.

Could He be filling my pitcher afresh?

I'm still in process. I will need to approach this in blogs to come but I do know that EVERY experience in life needs to be experienced to it's fullness. Even pain and discomfort...holding hands with it on bended knee.

But with expectation knowing that He has our best interest at heart.

Though I may be still
God is at work.
Doing a new work in me as I allow.

I am 'ministering' to my family currently. Faithful husband, Awesome teens and two lovely inlaws He has entrusted me with.
Enjoying a slower pace with tea...

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